Girl Talk, Part 1

I’m excited to be heading to Girl Talk tonight. When I first thought of going I wasn’t sure exactly what the format of the event would be and if non-girl people were explicitly welcome (even if it wasn’t labeled as a women-only space I wouldn’t want to make anyone feel like I was intruding), but since it looks like it’s open to whoever is interested I have a ticket and am looking forward to it.

What would an equivalent event for queer trans and cis men look like? I’m having a hard time imagining it. I think some of the difficulty comes from the lack of any sort of men’s group that would take it on; this may just be ignorance on my part but I can’t think of any.

The only group I know of that’s explicitly for creating space for trans and cis men is tm4m in San Francisco; it’s mainly focused on the sexual side of queer trans and cis men’s interactions with each other and while I could write an entire post about my issues with their “Top 5 Reasons to Fuck a Transguy” booklet, overall I have no problem with the group. I am friends/friendly acquaintances with a few people who work with tm4m and while I don’t think it’s the space for me (there’s a HUGE intimidation factor when meetings are held at a bathhouse, even if it is and explicitly trans-friendly one and meetings aren’t in the naked areas), I’m glad it exists. But it’s not quite the place I’d expect to see the sort of dialogue I’m going to see tonight (although I realize that since I don’t know exactly what the program tonight will be and I haven’t been to a tm4m event before… I may just be talking out of my ass here).

Other than that, when I think of men’s groups I think of gay men’s organizations, evangelical Christian groups like the Promise Keepers, and, to a lesser extent, the ManKind Project taking men out in the woods for crywalking. I know that technically something calling itself the “men’s rights movement” exists, but it’s less about actual Rights for Men and more about Hating Those Dirty Whorish Women, so I wouldn’t expect any input from that corner. Do MRAs even have a concept of trans people? Or queerness? Any I’ve encountered are extremely bitter straight cis men.

I’m not often in men-only spaces. In fact… aside from public restrooms and support/discussion groups for transmasculine folks, which at times feel a little too manly for me, I don’t think I’ve ever been in one. And that is just fine by me, to be honest. But if there was an event that was similar to Girl Talk but focused on queer cis and trans men… I’d love to see it.

I suppose there’s only so much I can say about an event I haven’t been to yet; I’m sure I’ll have plenty to say afterwards. And FOGCon is this weekend as well!

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One Response to Girl Talk, Part 1

  1. lkgundel says:

    So, I’m reading through your entries again! I have to introduce you to a Men’s Rights Advocate who isn’t an asshole, though. You know him! My Brother! Except, he’s not affiliated with any group or anything, he’s just observant about things. In his MRA stuff, it’s not at all about “cranky old men who think women are dirty whores,” at all, and more of the “it’s not funny when women are abused, so why is it funny when men are?” His latest thing is about the movie, Wreck-it Ralph. We went to see the movie over Christmas and it was really adorable. However, a lot of the movie’s comic moments came from a male character hitting himself or being hit by a female character. Obviously, this was hilarious and not suspect at all! In any of our conversations, it’s not about men’s right to skeeze on people, at ALL, but more about how men also have the right to be treated like people, too, who possess thoughts and feelings.

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