Comments for The Accidental Beard

Comment on Self-Defense and Victim Blaming by LADIES! It’s up you YOU to end rape! | The Accidental Beard

LADIES! It’s up you YOU to end rape! | The Accidental Beard — Wed, 01 May 2013 18:41:29 +0000

[...] WATCH YOUR DRINK! DON’T WEAR HEADPHONES WHILE JOGGING!” fear-heightening tips that I’ve complained about here before. Scrolling back some more turns up a few comments that I do agree with (mostly retweets, not [...]

Comment on Pissing off the Right People by chiizus

chiizus — Sat, 27 Apr 2013 23:38:17 +0000

Having read your column, it sounds like you were very objective and gave excellent advice, none of which I felt discriminated against anyone. Sounds like that person just wanted something/someone to lash out at. I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t even read the whole article carefully and just skimmed over it and saw the parts they wanted to see without coming away with the full context.

Comment on The AB Bathroom Challenge! by Bathroom Challenge, Part III | The Accidental Beard

Bathroom Challenge, Part III | The Accidental Beard — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 22:05:22 +0000

[...] just sent an email inviting lawmaker Rep. John Kavanagh to take the AB Bathroom Challenge! I’m not expecting a response, but if I receive one I’ll definitely post [...]

Comment on This is what happens to women on the internet by accidentalbeard

accidentalbeard — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 20:15:20 +0000

Yeah, that was around the same time when I did meet up with Olin in Raleigh for a date and I remember that I did call J from his place when I got there (and that was a nightmare but kind of a hilarious one). I can understand, given my life and state of mind at the time, how I got drawn into this guy’s weird fetish discussion, but it’s still really hard to think about it and not want to shake myself around a bit and say “you don’t need to put up with that to get positive attention from someone!”

That semester did a ringer on a lot of folks for sure.

Comment on This is what happens to women on the internet by lkgundel

lkgundel — Thu, 21 Mar 2013 18:51:53 +0000

Oh, hon- I remember that incident with fetish guy. I was going through dramaangstwoeisme at the time and wasn’t as available as I should have been, but I remember feeling scared. Wasn’t that the one where J and I offered to wait in the car and get you after X amount of time if you decided to meet up with The Dude? So much creepy. Hugs and hugs and hugs.

Comment on This is what happens to women on the internet by accidentalbeard

accidentalbeard — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 22:14:22 +0000

Not talking to that person, or just excusing yourself from future conversations he tries to initiate, sound just fine to me. I think if someone ignores what you’ve told them about how their behavior is unwanted and makes you uncomfortable, you’re really not required to observe anything but the most basic level of politeness (as in, not actively pissing on his shoes) in the future.

Comment on This is what happens to women on the internet by Rowena

Rowena — Tue, 26 Feb 2013 19:38:40 +0000

I’m glad you posted this. I’ve felt pretty conflicted about some unwanted advances, lately, and I didn’t want to feel like I was overreacting because frankly, at this point, I don’t feel safe talking to him, even though he’s the friend of a friend. And I don’t want to stir up shit with our mutual friend, so I’ve been trying to explain why his behavior is problematic. And he seems to have simply ignored it. I don’t really know what else to do at this point, except just stop talking to him. I guess I’ll have B talk to him, next, if it happens again? I just don’t want to deal with it at all.

Comment on About the AB by Bear

Bear — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 22:29:22 +0000

Hullo! I didn’t know where to leave this comment, so sorry if this is a weird place to leave it! I just wanted to say that I followed one of your links from Captain Awkward and have been creeping my way though your archives this evening and generally cackling with delight (except at the angry/sad bits, where my cackling and delight have been muted). I’ve found a bunch of stuff that you’ve said super-helpful and funny and generally enlightening, so I just wanted to say thanks for that, you seem like a really great dude.

P.S. oh my goodness I love the name.

Comment on This is what happens to women on the internet by accidentalbeard

accidentalbeard — Sun, 24 Feb 2013 21:43:07 +0000

Ugh. I mean, if someone thinks my hair (in any configuration) looks nice then I guess that’s a plus, although that isn’t the point either. But if they’re making MY hair (or whatever attirbute) all about THEM and focusing on that it’s just gross. There’s a huge difference between “your glasses look great, you have fantastic style” and “I love women in glasses.” That just makes me feel like a floating naked head/pair of glasses with a body conveniently attached.
Also I had a creepy moment not too long after I shaved my head when someone came up to me in a crowded convention hall, rubbed the back of my head vigorously, and left without me even seeing them. I asked the group of friends who was with me if any of them had done it, and no one had, so it turned out that a stranger had given me a drive-by head-grope.

Comment on This is what happens to women on the internet by ironed_orchid

ironed_orchid — Sat, 23 Feb 2013 04:25:10 +0000

When I shaved (well, clippered) my head as part of an annual event to raise money for cancer research I put a couple of videos up on youtube to show my friends and linked to them in my dreamwidth journal.

What I didn’t expect was guys on you tube commenting about how hot I looked with ultra short hair and linking to soft porn featuring women with short/shaved hair. When it did happen, I realized how naive I had been to think that no one would see the vids unless I had sent them a link. It also reminded me of a night many years before when I had gone dancing with a friend, only to be cornered by some guy who wanted to know all about me, and eventually let slip that he had a thing for women with short hair and glasses.