I show affection in a few main ways: I am snuggly with folks who are ok with that sort of thing, I make food with and for people, and I trade stories. I love to share important parts of my life with people I care about, and it’s much better if I can hear a good story in return. I don’t mind repetition; I will rarely stop someone if they’re re-telling me something I enjoyed the first time around.
I had a great time last night with a bunch of guys from my trans group; we went to a bar after the meeting and I enjoyed the chance to socialize with the group outside of the official meeting space. I spent a good bit of the night with someone I had just met at that night’s meeting and was glad I did; he was really friendly and we had some great discussions about dating, genital piercings, and living in SF. And while we’ve both done all of those things, the stories we told each other about those experiences didn’t sound very similar.
This is something I really love about trans spaces – there’s at least a small amount of shared experience that connects everyone, but trans folks have such a huge range of identities and backgrounds that everyone’s story is different and interesting and worth hearing. And yes, this is one of the main reasons I’m still sad there isn’t an “assorted trans/gender-variant folks” group I feel comfortable going to around here; I miss having that chance to hear a wider variety of stories and experiences. I’m not really looking for support from this group; I go because I want to hear other people’s stories. And most of them, especially the guys who were out drinking beer and dancing to Stevie Wonder last night, really want to share them with me.