I tend to have a pretty easy time loving other people. I can sometimes be slow to make friends, but I have a deep and fierce love for them once that connection is established. I want to protect, support, and hug my friends and loved ones as much as possible.
If I were a dog, I’d be something big, floppy, and doofy like a golden retriever, bouncing all over and trying to express my affection in the biggest, tail-waggiest ways possible. Hopefully, that gives y’all an idea of the sort of friend-thusiasm I bring to the picture. And with so many of my loved ones not local at the moment, my Big Friend Love Feelings are extra big right now, all puffed up by distance and longing.
I have a much, much harder time showing love – or even, at times, basic kindness – to myself. I realize this isn’t a problem only I have; plenty of folks who are absolute champs at loving others have a hard time focusing that love on themselves. But it’s become clear lately, as I’m finally aware of and working to claw myself out of a pretty scary depression-pit, that I’m sorely out of practice on this front. I am overflowing with compliments I want to pay to my friends, ones I believe are true with every fiber of my being, but I know I’d be skeptical of many of them if they were turned around and applied to me.
So! Here’s a scary yet probably useful exercise: a list of things I can honestly say I 100% love about myself:
- I can make some damn tasty candy & baked goods
- I am a world-class excellent smoocher (having a partner tell me “years later you’re still the best kisser I’ve encountered,” and having that pronouncement stand up to repeat testing, is still one of the best compliments I’ve ever received)
- I’m good at silly voices!
- My legs are huge and muscly, good for climbing hills and walking long distances
- I have a cute face
- I am cheerfully enthusiastic not just about my friends but about my interests/fandoms/favorite everythings
- NAIL POLISH
- I take pretty good pictures
It’s hard to say so many good things about myself! But I won’t apologize for them, even if I’m internally squirming and feeling incredibly awkward about it (spoiler alert: I am). I’m out of practice, but no time like the present to get back into the habit of being good to myself, right?
If any of y’all want to lavish yourselves with compliments here, on twitter, or just secretly in a quiet corner of your home, GO FOR IT! You’re fabulous!